I CANNOT WRITE ANYMORE!

And that was a beautiful time. Playing with words seemed so easy then. I could rhyme stuff effortlessly. Use literary tools to make my piece sound music. I still can. I don’t hold any doubts. What I cannot understand is what is holding me back?

I am writing this stuff after months. I am scared I will every save it on my desktop. I have been doing this all the time- Writing stuff, taking a pause at times, and then discontinuing altogether. I close my PC, do not save the word document and forget what I was trying to write.And here comes another such pause.

Resumed.

The last time I wrote something other than an exam, of a length more than a Facebook status was in October last year; it was an article on economics. It was my first attempt towards writing something on economics. I was excited. People who knew this stuff liked it. People who knew me did not.

They could see some pattern there perhaps. Perhaps they knew sometime down the lane, I will find myself unable to write those ‘piece of life’ pieces. Or, perhaps this is all what my mind wants to make up. THEY DID NOT LIKE IT BECAUSE THEY DID NOT LIKE IT.What is weird is that I have not written another article on economics or business after that! It is not funny!

I am confused-which one is the case? Do I not want to write? Or can I not write any more?

I feel like some old forgotten author who is depressed that he cannot write magically. For me, the depression comes from the feeling of not knowing what is wrong.

Maybe I am faking it. I know what is wrong. Perhaps I have become so lazy. Perhaps I found interest in other things. Perhaps I was not loyal to my own skill. Or maybe because I feel this is the skill of the emotional artist, which I no more want to be tagged as. So what do I want to be tagged as? Apt, shrewd, smart? Precise, cognizant, dynamic?

YES.

So I no more want to be just another writer. I want to be smart. I want business sense more than aesthetic sense. I value logic more than creativity.

I feel so jeopardized. People thought I should give up everything else and just write. And now I don’t write, at all. Forget using long words or wit, I will be thankful if I post this. I am obviously going to upload it now that I have written so much. I need motivation. I need praise. So if you don’t like this piece, please don’t tell me about it. If you do like it, ping me how original and honest it is. To all those who have been kind and read my stuff, here is this pointless unsatisfactory content.

Wow. Almost 500 words. Pardon me for the abrupt ending, the self-obsessed content and the depressing tone. I still hope you will tell me you LOVE it!