I CANNOT WRITE ANYMORE!

And that was a beautiful time. Playing with words seemed so easy then. I could rhyme stuff effortlessly. Use literary tools to make my piece sound music. I still can. I don’t hold any doubts. What I cannot understand is what is holding me back?

I am writing this stuff after months. I am scared I will every save it on my desktop. I have been doing this all the time- Writing stuff, taking a pause at times, and then discontinuing altogether. I close my PC, do not save the word document and forget what I was trying to write.And here comes another such pause.

Resumed.

The last time I wrote something other than an exam, of a length more than a Facebook status was in October last year; it was an article on economics. It was my first attempt towards writing something on economics. I was excited. People who knew this stuff liked it. People who knew me did not.

They could see some pattern there perhaps. Perhaps they knew sometime down the lane, I will find myself unable to write those ‘piece of life’ pieces. Or, perhaps this is all what my mind wants to make up. THEY DID NOT LIKE IT BECAUSE THEY DID NOT LIKE IT.What is weird is that I have not written another article on economics or business after that! It is not funny!

I am confused-which one is the case? Do I not want to write? Or can I not write any more?

I feel like some old forgotten author who is depressed that he cannot write magically. For me, the depression comes from the feeling of not knowing what is wrong.

Maybe I am faking it. I know what is wrong. Perhaps I have become so lazy. Perhaps I found interest in other things. Perhaps I was not loyal to my own skill. Or maybe because I feel this is the skill of the emotional artist, which I no more want to be tagged as. So what do I want to be tagged as? Apt, shrewd, smart? Precise, cognizant, dynamic?

YES.

So I no more want to be just another writer. I want to be smart. I want business sense more than aesthetic sense. I value logic more than creativity.

I feel so jeopardized. People thought I should give up everything else and just write. And now I don’t write, at all. Forget using long words or wit, I will be thankful if I post this. I am obviously going to upload it now that I have written so much. I need motivation. I need praise. So if you don’t like this piece, please don’t tell me about it. If you do like it, ping me how original and honest it is. To all those who have been kind and read my stuff, here is this pointless unsatisfactory content.

Wow. Almost 500 words. Pardon me for the abrupt ending, the self-obsessed content and the depressing tone. I still hope you will tell me you LOVE it!

Globalisation VS Economic Nationalism

What is Economic Nationalism?

Economic nationalism refers to a set of policies which argue the domestic control of land, labor and capital. Economic nationalists believe that a closed economy does greater good to the people of a country than integrating the national economy to the world economy. They question the advantages of a liberal trade policy and free market economics.

Globalization, on the other hand, prescribes a completely opposite behavior. It involves integrating national economies to the world economy and free movement of capital, labor, and other factors of production. Globalization saw its peak in the late 20th century and the early years of the 21st century.

It was all good; the times were of growth and prosperity. And then came 2008; it was the year of the worst financial crisis after The Great Depression of the 1930s. It all started with a housing bubble in the United States; it spread like an epidemic in the entire world. And from then on, economies, particularly the emerging ones, have become skeptical about the advantages of economic integration.It cannot be denied that the extent of globalization was the most obvious during this Financial Crisis of 2008. It spread like wildfire; the weaker ones got more severe burns. In the words of the English statesman Lord Palmerston, “Nations have no permanent friends or allies, they only have permanent interests.” Many countries therefore look forward to focusing on domestic economic activities rather than engaging in a global economic system.

From here on, I would like to limit the scope of the article to India only. In 1991, India opened up its economy, more so reluctantly, to international trade. The government did away with a protectionist policy and excessive controls on industries. Till now, the whole country was riding shotguns for its domestic producers, who, as policymakers argue, were too weak to face competition from the international market. But the country was on the brink of defaulting; it was in major crisis. In order to qualify for a loan from the World Bank and IMF, the country decided to put down its shields and allow free movement of capital and labor.

From then, the country has come a long way. A 100% FDI is now permitted in agriculture, mining, petroleum & natural gas, defense, telecom services, retail (single brand), asset restructuring companies, airports, helicopter services, courier services, construction, industrial parks, trading, e-commerce, NBFC’s and pharmaceuticals. It is the 11th most favored destination for a multi-national company to set up their headquarters, as per a McKinsey Global Institute Report.

 

But lately, the government of India has restricted foreign capital inflows in theform of equity and loans due to a staggering economy with a falling currency. The job creation at Indian companies is hitting new lows, the GDP growth rate which was a satisfying 9% in 2009-10, was a disappointing 4.4% in Q1, 2013-2014. The fattening Current Account Deficit, rising imports, speculation, the Federal Bank withdrawing the stimulus in the United States along with low growth and policy inaction led the Indian Rupee’s downhill rally.

Normally whenever you get a fever, a good doctor will prescribe a medicine that will fight the bacteria and cure the symptoms; why would somebody go to a doctor who blames the thermometer instead? My point here is that the Indian economy was suffering and the depreciating rupee was just a symptom. The global markets said that it was okay to pay 63 rupees for a dollar, and here in India we were fighting against the call of the international markets. As a result, gold imports were slashed, the FDI cap in commodity exchanges was reduced to 23%, and speculation was barred. It reduced the automatic limit on corporate investments overseas to equal to the net worth from four times the net worth and lowered the limit under the liberalized remittance scheme for individuals to $75,000 from $2, 00,000 to conserve foreign exchange. The RBI also restricted the individuals from using the liberalized remittance scheme to acquire immovable property overseas.

And the rupee continued to crash. It hit a lifetime low of 68 for a dollar in August 2013. And then came a saviour. The Reserve Bank of India got its new boss, Raghuram Rajan who has also been the Chief Economic Adviser to India's Ministry of Finance in the previous year and the Chief Economist at the International Monetary Fund from 2003 to 2007. With a supply side economist coming to take the lead, the markets reacted positively on his first day as the RBI’s new boss. The sensex soared 412 points to a three week high and the rupee went up to 65.5 against the dollar, as Rajan announced plans to revise and strengthen the monetary policy framework and liberalise the markets as well as curbs on investment and position-taking. He also said that steps would be taken to strengthen financial infrastructure and attract capital inflows and stressed the need for faster, broad based, inclusive growth.

As most free market enthusiasts argue, curbing demand and not taking the supply side measures does not solve our problems. In the short term, the currency may go in the green zone, but when the larger picture is seen, it appears very clear that the signals that an economy is sending in the world when it imposes capital controls are not very positive. The economy is no more favored as an investment destination by foreign institutional investors. Exiting FII’s translates to higher CAD and a weaker currency.

The economic nationalists argue that the benefits of globalization are unequal: the developed countries that have more control over the supply chains and logistics get more benefit than the developing countries. The rich become fatter and the poor become poorer. This was acceptable when the growth rates were high. In times of low growth rates, no country wants to be at the losing end. The effect of an economic decision in one country is not limited to just that country. So it’s not just your economic policies, it’s what Obama does in USA and Angela does in Germany.

In the current scenario, it is difficult to make a choice: be happy with what you have, or make use of the best available in the world. Surely, globalization has come with its pros and cons. Each stage of production is undertaken in the most efficient manner. Free markets mean globalization of capital and larger capital flows in countries have sometimes led to inflationary pressures which force the government to increase the interest rates which again hinders growth. Also globalization implies that the supply chains are international which makes them more vulnerable to changes in currency values and cost structures.


Considering everything, I would say that having closed economies is not a solution to our problems. In fact, it might not be morally correct. If A wants to buy a good that has been made in Africa, which is because he feels it has more utility than a good produced in his own country. Now if A’s country bans any such import, this denies A any choice. Also it makes the producers of his country complacent; when they don’t face any competition, they might not work hard at all to serve A and the likes. Free trade makes everyone rich. It gives consumers cheaper goods, workers better wages and businessmen greater profits. Protectionism has had worse effects on domestic workers than the coming of MNC’s in the countries. Creative destruction, by the way of allowing free competition in the economy, ensures that it is the customer who has the power. Only efficient businesses survive, and the inefficient ones have no way else but to improve themselves. Why blame others for our own inefficiencies? How long does a father keep guarding his sons?

Bangles

Prologue:

This piece talks about feelings of a woman who is ill-treated by her husband. She lives in a society where being a woman is a curse. I won't tell you more. Read on and find yourself. Maybe write something about this piece in the comment column.

Today was just another day-the same routine, the same thrashing. Though, it was a new weapon today. He used a hot iron. The ice soothed the burn, though my soul still burns. The usual also happened; he pulled my hair, slapped me, and raped me. I don’t remember what he said to me after burning my bosom. But I do remember him mentioning that this was his new way of showing his love to me.

I don’t want to talk about that monster anyway.

It was late night. The daughter came to me, with a question. It was both uncomfortable and comforting. She had to see this happening every day. I don’t know if she loves her father or not, she definitely seems puzzled of the customary proceedings of the place. And this she made obvious with her question to me today. “Is my husband going to do same things to me Ammi?”

I did not want to answer her. I did not want to answer her in positive. She is eleven now. Six years from now, she will be a married lady. Red bangles.

I love red bangles. They hide the bruises on my wrist. Twelve years back when I came to this place, I had a different reason to love them. They are so beautiful. I had dreams; dreams where my man loved me. My life is a living nightmare now.

I don’t want to answer my daughter. She is beautiful; reminds me of my childhood days. I was just like her. I don’t want her to be like me.

She sees the monster killing me every day. What if she starts believing it is okay for the man to hit the woman? Good for her. She should know her destiny. But is this her destiny? Oh lord! She is like a flower. She should die before anybody else eyes her. Daughters are a curse.

The mother in law curses me every day. “You are a witch.”

I wish! I would have killed your son in no time then.

So yes, when my daughter came to me, it felt good. I am a sinner to seek comfort in a daughter’s presence. She is not my property. She has to go. She belongs to her husband.

I am hoping against hope, to have a son-in-law who loves my girl. I know it mostly won’t happen. In this land of brutal beasts, God is really cross with girls. ‘Girl’ is a dirty word.

A Blue Moment

These days I have been feeling too low. It isn't winters yet so I am a bit worried as to what brings these blues into my life which otherwise come only in the cold times due to SAD. I have been pondering every night if ‘this too shall pass’ applies to this dull phase of my life. Apparently, a thought also crossed my mind few days back that this moment of blue was not self-invited, rather it was created by certain events, or you could say, certain ways that our lives today go on.

I would in fact say that too much ‘ambition’ could be a reason why we feel low so often. Or is it our lifestyle that most shrimps claim to be the reason behind the ‘unusual depressing times’? In relatable terms, is it about that almost perfect girl who fits into 26 inch denims, and walks in with all that panache wearing Mango, Mac and Mary Kay? Or that boy, who with his uncanny ability to score a 100 almost all the time, is the one whom your parents talk about always? Or that group of yours where your mobile phone looks like the one from the Stone Age? Or those from the family, who, you don’t know how, always know when your result is coming?

My god! The world is a brutal place! At least if we put it that way. I just don’t get why there is an extreme pressure on all of us; a pressure not only to fair well, but to be perfect- with perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect paychecks, and in fact with perfect partners. I suppose we are in a generation where we want to create robots, and not better human beings.

Acceptance the word is. Beyond the long spelling, there is a long context I wish to draw your attention to. Acceptance to what, you might ask. I would say, acceptance to everything, tall or short, ugly or pretty, classic or mediocre, good or bad and most importantly acceptance of our own self, which in fact is the most difficult kind. The only thing that stops us from accepting things, living or non-living, is that we judge.

The girl in the short skirt? What a slut. The guy with that female accent? So gay! The lady who negotiates at the neighbourhood grocer? A cheapskate! The man, who complimented you in front of his wife? Such a flirt.

Everyday, as people go places, and meet other people, they tend to form an opinion. We tend to frame people into specific images in our mind, that aren't motivated by any logic. The reason why we do it, is because the reality appears to be like that.

Short and simple, we perceive and believe, not wanting to know the truth. Most say, “don’t worry about what people think. “ I have personally found it impossible. What college I get into, what man I marry, what company I work for, what car I drive, would matter to my aunt as much as it does to my dad.

So our lives are not our own, and henceforth, the pressure, the pressure to be acceptable, to be laudable. No one likes it that way; at least most of us would not. But then why do we struggle every day, to make ourselves more perfect? Or why do we look in the mirror, and wish we looked more like Diaz or Cruise? Most of us are walking on the path of life in a direction taken by majority. We are scared to experiment, scared to not be accepted, scared of the outcome, and scared of what people will think.

I am not excluding myself from the ‘WE’. I found the reason behind my troubled times. Sometimes making too much effort is fatal. You tire yourself, and you still aren't enough. You would never be. There is always a scope of improvement, they say, but to what extent? To what extent do you have to drive yourself, and what makes you ask for more? The fact that ‘more is better’ or the fact that ‘success is all about growth, all about improvement’ ?

This makes me dream of a different world; where no one was ‘obliged’ to be somebody, where imperfections were good, where I did not have to write such pessimistic stuff.  I wish for a life, where your loved ones were happy in your happiness (no, this does not happen in real life).  By the way, I just figured out how to get out of grey- omega 3 fatty acids, dark chocolates (yum), sunlight, cod liver oil supplements and the most important thing of all-connect and create!

I just connected and created something as I wrote this piece (Feeling so much better). You might try it as well as I fetch dark chocolates and flax seeds from the market! :-)

The Best Of Both Worlds

I remember the time when learning proverbs used to be a tedious job for me and my peers."Don't count your chicks befohey hatch." Why does the whole world have to get all metaphorical?  We wondered at the incongruity of our syllabus- the logical mathematics and the illogical proverbs.

Off late, certain events have been constant reminders to me of one such adage-The sun cannot remain behind the clouds for many days.

The sun cannot remain behind the cloud for many days.It shows up once again, brighter than the last time the denizens of this beautiful world saw it;to lighten up the lives of people, to help plants make their food, to let the travelers enjoy their trips, to give light to the moon and most importantly- to retain its supremacy over the world.

It is good to be back on top.After a year of downsides and humiliation, it feels great to have finally proved myself once again to the world. They left no effort in pulling me down; it is implied they needed company at the bottom of the ladder. They thought stripping me off my wings will help them. They crushed me, under their feet, in front of this entire ugly world. There was no dearth of humiliation and mockery, as I went down and down and down....And they were successful too; Paranoia hit me. The mockery, the insulting news reports, the unkind critics-everything happening around heightened the extent to which I was broken, till I was broken completely.

But even God has his own way of being benignant, of mending my broken self, the vulnerable self!
She was beautiful indeed, like a morning bird. Her face radiated peace. Her eyes gleamed; they showed the faith she had in me. At a time when everyone believed my story to be that of a befallen star, she held my hand.

Ours was an arranged marriage.When I met her for the first time, I was speechless. The very Saraswati on Earth! Here was the perfect Bengali girl every Calcutta must have dreamt of! The kohl lit eyes, the melody she created with her Veena, her beautiful lustrous hair, everything! Everything seemed to have cast a spell on me!

And then, an other picture of that beautiful lady whom I saw once back in Calcutta, came to my mind. Not a pleasant one...

I never thought it could happen to someone as chirpy as herself.She breathed life! She was somebody whom God must have created to epitomise the spirit of being! She was the life, the spirit in me. She went away, taking away my soul; gifting me my world-the world of fame, glitterati, the world where I am the sun and the others are the clouds.

I miss her.Even when my world turned upside down, when everything was stormy, she held my hand. And there was a sense of comfort. A belief that I won't hit the ground!That she would save my soul! Now that she is gone, I feel all bare!

Her swing, the one which I pushed while she sat on it, is empty; so is the life of the man whom she gave life to.

Its god's way of justice that prevails, yet again.

Maybe you cannot have the best of both worlds!

The Race

I don't like this race.
Someone endeared pushed me into this.
This race..
I don't like it!

He forgot to give me shoes;
I asked for the best ones!
But in turn got none.
And now I am running this race-
bare foot,
on a spiky land.

Its not good-
this race.
My feet are pricked and pierced,
with stone bits and pebbles.
And I am too tired now.
Alas!I can not stop.
I should not stop.

Must keep running.
Oh I hate the blood and perspiration!
I hate the abdominal pain
after running so much.
But I must win it;
at least complete it!
They say it is important to complete a race.

I am last as of now.
I want to stop;
but I cannot.
I should not!

This race, the pace, this worn out face!
I don't want to run anymore.
I want a break.
There is no tree!
Nor any splendid brooks or stream as the literati calls them.

Oh no!
The way is getting tougher and tougher.
The stones are getting larger.
The thorns have grown taller.
How far is the finishing line?
How far is the loved one?

A Bizzarre Love Story

We both love each other.
There is a lot of understanding.
I have known him for 12 years.
Long time, isn't it?

But off late there have been issues-
he asks too many questions;
Some to which I have no answers,
few others answered wrong repeatedly.
He tricks me every time with such mindbogglers!

And the idiot has taken away my heart as well!
And broken it the number of times there are days in an year.
Don't forget to multiply this number with twelve;
because I have known him for twelve years you see!

And everytime he is disappointed and frustrated-
with me, over me!
Says I have no time for him.
Oh I have other people in my life as well!
They need my love and affection too.

Gifts are frequent however;
this is the best part of our relationship.
But they are only for correct answers.
Yes, he is a typical quiz master!
It is irritating!

But you know what?I am in love with this fellow!
Though am a human being too;
I also need my share of love and care.
(Love it when the received packets are more than the sent ones)

Maybe sometime he realises it-
before I am gone.....
Hope he doesn't let me go;
because I don't want to leave him
.
It cannot go on like that.
The issues need to be addressed.
He has to love me back!
MR. MATHEMATICS, YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME BACK!